Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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