well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
