I cannot find my penis.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
