I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
