u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Pants are for mortals
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
