Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
