conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
