4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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