He is an equal opportunity slut.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
