Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
