Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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