dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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