as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
honey bunches of taint.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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