are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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