I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
