This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
