Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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