I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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