Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
