is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
