he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
