Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
