I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
