i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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