I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
