some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
