Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
