he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
