Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
