I'm lost and stupid without you.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I want a musical about memes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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