Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
