Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
