she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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