You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
