i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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