Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
