he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
