It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
