did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
