dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
