Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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