My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
