i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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