I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
