So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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