me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
