What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
