I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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