so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
