But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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