no, he came in my armpit
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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