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• (619): View more from California

  wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh

  (1-619): View more from California

  maybe you did when you were drunk

  (619): View more from California

  no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Shut the hell up.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  there is no way he can be that small

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  look on the bright side he'll over comepensate

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• (718): View more from New York

  Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.

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• (818): View more from California

  I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He asked if he could come over tomorrow....

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep

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