What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
