I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
