Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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