We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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