You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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